Before It’s Too Late

Before It’s Too Late

2 Samuel 18:1-33 

 

Illus. Countdown!

 

            As we turn to 2 Samuel 18 this morning, we pick up in the middle of a war that has been waged between to opposing armies one led by a father, David, and the opposing army led by his son, Absalom. A battle will take place, once that has been brewing for the past few chapters, and as it all unfolds, the life of David’s son Absalom will be taken by one of his commanders and his men. Throughout the chapter it is clearly shown that this outcome was not what David desired. Upon hearing the news, David will mourn greatly.

 

2 Samuel 18:33, Then the king trembled and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And this is what he said as he walked: “My son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you, Absalom, my son, my son!”

 

            As David cries out in grief, his love, his heart, and his devastation over losing him is displayed clearly. There is much shown in these verses, much that you and I can see, but as I studied these verses this past week, the question that came to me consistently was: did Absalom know what David was showing? We see David’s love and desire, it, we know because it is clearly revealed here in these verses, but did Absalom know? Was Absalom shown what we can now see so clearly?

            The text centers on the relationship between father and son. The love of a father and a sad conclusion. Throughout our study of 2 Samuel, I have pointed consistently to many of David’s missed opportunities, and the often-wrong responses of both he and his family. But this past week, it struck me that through David, we are seeing not only the heart of a father, but the heart of The Heavenly Father. Through the sad story of what David lacked in showing, and what Absalom lacked in seeing, I believe that God can use these verses as a revealing of His heart toward you and me.

            As David thought about his son, he used the words “if only,” which shows us that there was an opportunity, but now that opportunity had passed. His son was now gone, as was the opportunity for anything to go differently.

            It is apparent that often life is about opportunity. I am reminded from time to time of the quote “opportunities of a lifetime but must be pursued within the lifetime of the opportunity.” While popular in sales and marketing, the quote is no marketing scheme, and surely, it is fact about the lives we are living. That said, there is no greater opportunity that we have than knowing and responding to the Heavenly Father personally. As we continue and process through Absalom’s story this morning, that is where I want to make sure I am pointing.

 

Illus. Limited time.

 

Read: 2 Samuel 18:1-6

 

            The chapter begins with giving the details surrounding David and his army. The plan to pursue David was already in place for his son Absalom after he was given two differently battle plans to choose from in chapter 17, and he chose one of them. David was then told of what was to come, that Absalom himself was going to lead the men of Israel against him to take him out. With the plan in place on Absalom’s side, now David is setting up a battle plan of his own. As he does so, he makes sure to mention his desire for how his military leaders might deal with his son…He commands them to “deal gently” with him. That was his desire, but Absalom couldn’t have known this…It was too late for anyone to tell him that, and based upon their history, he likely would not have ended up listening.

 

1. Realize the Desire of The Good Father

 

2 Samuel 18:1-3, Then David took a count of the people who were with him and appointed over them commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds. And David sent the people out, a third under the command of Joab, a third under the command of Abishai the son of Zeruiah, Joab’s brother, and a third under the command of Ittai the Gittite. And the king said to the people, “I myself will certainly go out with you also.” But the people said, “You should not go out; for if in fact we flee, they will not care about us; and if half of us die, they will not care about us. But you are worth ten thousand of us; so now it is better that you will be ready to help us from the city.”

 

• From verse 1 we know that in preparation for war, David took count of those who were with him.

 

• Once counted, he divided them up into three groups under the command of Joab, Abishai, and Ittai the Gittite.

 

• Joab was David’s chief military commander and we have seen him in a position of military leadership consistently. Abishai was Joab’s brother, and both were sons of Zeruiah, David’s sister making them his nephews.

 

• Ittai the Gittite was a Philistine, a former resident of Goliath’s hometown, Gath.

 

• David had spent time in Gath running from king Saul and lived in Philistine territory for a year and four months.

 

• Ittai the Gittite ended up aligning with David and eventually moved to Jerusalem to be with David. His arrival game one day before David fled the city after learning that Absalom was coming for him. David encouraged Ittai to stay in the city, but Ittai declared his loyalty to David and said, “wherever you go, by death or by life, that is where I will be” (2 Samuel 16:21).

 

• David trusted these commanders and set up a strategy of divide and conquer.

 

• He also told them that he was planning to go to battle himself, but the people did not like that idea. David was what the military refers to as a “high value target.” If David got taken out, there was a real problem for the people, they encouraged him to stay back.

 

• David agreed to stay back, but then gave special orders concerning his son Absalom.

 

2 Samuel 18:5, The king commanded Joab, Abishai, and Ittai, saying, “Deal gently with the young man Absalom for my sake.” And all the people heard when the king commanded all the commanders regarding Absalom.

 

• When David told his commanders to deal “gently” with Absalom, it is a word that means to move softly toward, to handle with care, or to be gentle with.

 

• When dealing with an enemy, in most any other situation, the set up would be to find the person to is responsible for it all, and take them out! Not here, however.

 

• David gave these orders to the commanders and he did so in front of all the people. He wanted Absalom captured alive, and wanted all to know that he did not want him mistreated. With all the people hearing this, the captains could not say they were told different.

 

• David was not dealing with this rebellion like most other situations. Notice, he calls him “the young man Absalom.” He is trying to deal with this like a king, but also like a dad.

 

• What I want to point out here is that David’s desires regarding his son was made clear to everyone in front of him and all who were on his side in the situation, but it is apparent that his desires for good for his son were never made clear or spoken by David to his son specifically.

 

• In all his interactions with his son, we never seen David express a desire like this to him. We know the backstory.

 

Illus. Backstory: 2 Samuel 11-17.

 

• Others knew and could see David’s longing and heart towards Absalom. Others heard about David’s desire for all to deal gently with him…But Absalom didn’t.

 

Illus. Tell them.

 

Ephesians 6:4, Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

 

• David had provoked his son to anger, to wrath, through silence.

 

Illus. What to circle.

 

1 John 3:1, See how great a love the Father has given us, that we would be called children of God; and in fact we are.  

 

• In God’s word, which he has given, there is something he wanted us to “see,” that He loves us with a great love.

 

• When John wrote of the great love, he wrote, that he has “given us,” other translations read “lavished on us.”

 

• He uses the word, “Father” in our relationship to him to point us toward a father-child relationship.

 

• While that relationship is reference, God is greater than our earthly fathers, God the Father is perfect with a perfect love towards His children.

 

• Not only this, but he also expresses his desires for us in and through His Word.

 

Hosea 6:6, I desire steadfast love…

 

2 Peter 3:9, Not wishing that any should perish…

 

1 Timothy2:4, [He] desires all people to be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth.

 

• In John 14:9, Jesus said these words, “if you have seen me, you have seen the Father.”

 

Matthew 11:28-30, Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.”

 

• When it came to Absalom and his father David, he was not told the desire of his father, he did not know that his father wanted him dealt with gently.

 

• Had he known, perhaps things would have played out differently.

 

• Perhaps in your life, you have questioned God’s heart towards you due to a challenging relationship with your earthly Father, is so, I want you to know the heart of God the Father toward you before it is too late.

 

1. Refrain from Getting Hung Up on The Wrong Things

 

2 Samuel 18:6-8, Then the people went out to the field against Israel, and the battle took place in the forest of Ephraim. The people of Israel were defeated there by the servants of David, and the slaughter there that day was great, twenty thousand men. For the battle there was spread over the whole countryside, and the forest devoured more people that day than the sword devoured.

 

• According to chapter 6, the battle took place in the forest of Ephraim. It was dense forest with steep, rocky terrain.

 

• It was a dangerous place to hold a battle, and the soldiers with Absalom seem to have less experience in that type of terrain.

 

• From verse 8 we know that more people from just trying to navigate having a battle in the forest, than by the swords of David’s men. It seems they were just inexperienced in navigating the terrain they were in.

 

2 Samuel 18:9, Now Absalom happened to meet the servants of David. For Absalom was riding on his mule, and the mule went under the thick branches of a great oak. And his head caught fast in the oak, so he was left hanging between heaven and earth, while the mule that was under him kept going. (NASB 95’)

 

• After taking out many of his men, David’s soldiers encounter Absalom.

 

• It is not clear when exactly Absalom got hung up in the tree, whether it was before they encountered him, or that is how they encountered him, all we know is that Absalom had been riding a mule, which was what kings did, and while riding his head got caught in a tree.

 

Illus. Hung up.

 

2 Samuel 14:25-26, Now in all Israel there was no one as handsome as Absalom, so highly praised; from the sole of his foot to the top of his head there was no impairment in him. And when he cut the hair of his head (and it was at the end of every year that he cut it, because it was heavy on him, so he cut it), he weighed the hair of his head at two hundred shekels by the king’s weight.

 

• Two hundred shekels is about 5 pounds, so he had quite the head of hair.

 

• He would cut it and weigh it out once a year. To grow it out and weigh it out publicly tells us some things.

 

2 Samuel 18:10-13

 

• The man who saw Absalom hanging from the tree reported it to Joab, David’s longtime military commander.

 

• Joab responds, if you saw him, why didn’t you take him out?

 

• I would have given you a prize, a military belt, I would have rewarded you for that!

 

• He points out to Joab what David had said that he was not willing to go against the king’s command to protect his son.

 

• He knew that he would be in trouble had he done such a thing…Joab had no such concern for David’s command the soldiers warning.

 

2 Samuel 18:14-15, Then Joab said, “I will not waste time here with you.” So he took three spears in his hand and thrust them through the heart of Absalom while he was still alive in the midst of the oak. And ten young men who carried Joab’s armor gathered around and struck Absalom and killed him.

 

• Joab took matters into his own hands. He seems to be convinced that it was in Israel’s best interest for the life of Absalom to be ended. He likely believed it was in David’s best interests as well.

 

• Joab knew what a threat Absalom was. He had seen it all and walked with David through it all. Absalom was a traitor, a murderer, he had done horrible things to David, to his concubines, he had made himself an enemy to David and to his own family, Joab believe this was necessary.

 

Illus. Correct but not right.

 

2 Samuel 18:16-18, Then Joab blew the trumpet, and the people returned from pursuing Israel, for Joab restrained the people. And they took Absalom and threw him into a deep pit in the forest, and erected over him a very large pile of stones. And all Israel fled, each to his own tent. Now Absalom in his lifetime had taken and set up for himself a memorial stone, which is in the King’s Valley, for he said, “I have no son to continue my name.” So he named the memorial stone after his own name, and it is called Absalom’s Monument to this day.

 

• Absalom has set up a memorial stone for himself in “The King’s Valley” also known as the Kidron Valley. He set up a memorial stone, a monument for himself, so that people would remember him.

 

• Despite setting up his own memorial stone to be buried under, Joab, not wanting Absalom to be memorialized in death, had his body thrown into a deep pit in the forest.

 

• The reason Absalom had taken and set up a memorial stone for himself, was for the stated reason that he had no son to continue his name. It is worth noting that we were told a few chapters back in chapter 14 that he did have sons at that time, but it seems that at some point, his sons ended up passing away.

 

• He built his own stone thinking; nobody is going to remember me!

 

Illus. The Tomb of Absalom.

 

• Absalom had left a monument in his life. A monument of what he got hung up on and what he got hung up in.

 

• When verse 9 tells us that Absalom that Absalom was left hanging between heaven and earth, it paints a picture for us. First physically, but also personally, and spiritually.

 

• Absalom was hung up on some things. The things he was hung up on were neither right by earth, nor by heaven!

 

• In his story, he started out with a good cause, his concern for his sister after she was mistreated terribly, but he gave himself over to bitterness, to anger, to vengeance and to sinful things.

 

• He got hung up in the wrong ways and on the wrong things.

 

Hebrews 12:15, See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.

 

• The King James translation says it this way, “lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.”

 

Philippians 3:13-14, Brothers and sisters, I do not regard myself as having taken hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

 

• Paul wrote, in pursuit of the prize, it is critical to forget about what is behind.

 

• In the Bible, forget doesn’t mean to lose your memory, or that you are unable to recall something. Rather, to forget means that we do not act according to something, it doesn’t influence our present.

 

Isaiah 43:18-19, “Do not call to mind the former things, or consider things of the past. Behold, I am going to do something new, now it will spring up; will you not be aware of it?

 

• Paul says here, forget about the past, in other words, don’t act according to it.

 

Illus. Remember to forget.

 

Philippians 4:4-9

 

III.   Respond to the Depth of The Fathers Love for You Personally

 

• As the chapter closes, the news of the military defeat of David’s enemies, including the death of his son, was delivered to David.

 

• The messengers sent saw it as an opportunity to deliver what they believed to be “good news” to David, but David, learning of the loss of his son, saw things differently.

 

• When the first messenger arrived to David, he did not have all the information, but gave the report “all is well..” David’s concern, however, was centered on his son.

 

2 Samuel 18:28-29, Ahimaaz called and said to the king, “All is well.” And he prostrated himself before the king with his face to the ground. And he said, “Blessed is the Lord your God, who has delivered up the men who lifted their hands against my lord the king.” The king said, “Is it well with the young man Absalom?” And Ahimaaz answered, “When Joab sent the king’s servant, and your servant, I saw a great tumult, but I did not know what it was.” Then the king said, “Turn aside and stand here.” So he turned aside and stood still.

 

• When the first messenger came, he reports that “all is well,” but David’s directed his concern toward his son, “the young man Absalom.”

 

• Ahimaaz, who arrived first, doesn’t have the information he is looking for.

 

2 Samuel 18:31-32,  Then behold, the Cushite arrived, and the Cushite said, “Let my lord the king receive good news, for the Lord has freed you this day from the hand of all those who rose up against you.” Then the king said to the Cushite, “Is it well with the young man Absalom?” And the Cushite answered, “May the enemies of my lord the king, and all who rise up against you for evil, be like that young man!”

 

• The second messenger comes, declaring what he believed was “good news” to David and again, David directs his attention to the situation with Absalom… “Is it well with the young man Absalom?”

 

• The Cushite revealed that the enemy was defeated and Absalom was treated as an enemy, he was taken out.

 

2 Samuel 18:33, Then the king trembled and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And this is what he said as he walked: “My son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you, Absalom, my son, my son!”

 

• As we read, “the king trembled,” it means to be deeply moved, shaken, or disturbed.

 

• David had lost his son. His son had set himself against him and was taken in battle.

 

• David wept, and cried out to his son, “O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you, Absalom, my son, my son!”

 

• Up to this point in the chapter, David was referring to him as “that young man, Absalom,” but he is overwhelmed as he cries out, “my son, my son.”

 

• David was crying out to his son, he was expressing his love for his son, his understands his conclusion, and he expresses that he wishes he could have taken his place.

 

Illus. Father’s love.

 

• David, even though his son had made himself his enemy, was willing and wanting to suffer in his son’s place… “oh Absalom, if only I had died instead of you.”

 

• He would rather have had Absalom victorious, and himself slain, than to see Absalom slain.

 

• As I read David’s words, I found myself again wishing that he had expressed that to Absalom when he was still alive.

 

• Consider what the Father has done for us.

 

John 10:11, I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep.

 

Romans 5:7-8, Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.  But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (NIV)

 

Romans 5:10, For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, much more, having been reconciled, we shall be saved by His life.

 

• The Lord Jesus gave his life before it was too late. To make the way. And to some this morning, I believe the Lord is calling… “Oh my child, my child, I died so you don’t have to, my child, my child.” God didn’t wait; he has shown his love to you. While you were far off, still sinner, enemies, he laid down His life willingly.

 

Romans 10:9, if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved

 

Romans 10:13, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

 

 

2 Samuel 18:1-33